Multigrain Chock ful o' Apple Muffins

My philosophy on clearance, sale, etc. items is twofold. First of all, the bigger the discount the more likely I am to buy, regardless of how much money I am actually spending. This makes me particularly susceptible to marketing ploys of all kinds as I am much more likely to buy something if I at least believe that I am getting it for 50% off or more, regardless of whether I'm spending $20 or $200. This renders me particularly powerless when it comes to clearance racks and those lovely little end caps at the grocery store with dented cans of pork and beans for $0.50. Everything happens for a reason. While I usually have the power to resist a gallon of milk that expires today (wait no I've bought that before...but it was organic milk for $1!) or 3 pounds of steak marked down 10% I have less willpower when it comes to fresh produce at a discount. What this often means is that my husband and I are often stuck with those bags of bruised apples and bananas that get mushier the longer you look at them. I can't help it when they're only $1 and hey, you can never have too much banana bread. Except for when you do. 

Last week's batch of mushy bananas turned into a frighteningly moist and delicious banana sour cream pound cake, a rather decadent step up from the usual and highly recommended with more ice cream and caramel on top. Butter and full fat dairy are indeed magical ingredients but it turns out it is actually possible to ingest too much of each, meaning that by the time I turned to my bag of bruised apples I was actually in the mood for something a little more nourishing. Perhaps more fiber grams than fat grams? It would be nice to not need an afternoon nap after my afternoon snack, at least today. I ended up with scrumptious little morsels that were equal parts apple and muffin, an apple cobbler in a muffin tin relying on the sweetness of the apples themselves and the heartiness of the oats for flavor. I can't wait to tinker with this recipe in the future. The recipe called for grinding the oats with the flour and I would love to leave them whole next time, maybe soak them in a little buttermilk first and try a bit of cornmeal for some texture and crunch.

Two thoughts: This is one of my favorite kitchen utensils and especially handy for dishing out muffin batter. Thought two: I seriously need a serious camera. Right now the s95 is my top pick for a good entry level point and shoot. Thoughts?

Just bursting with appley raisiny goodness.

These make a particularly homey and nourishing afternoon snack with a dollop of apple butter and even a smear of almond butter. Enjoy!

Multigrain Chock ful o' Apple Muffins

adapted  from Real Simple Whole Grain Blueberry Muffins

• 1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
• 1 cup old fashioned rolled oats
• 1/4 wheat bran (not bran flakes; if you don't have any may substitute 1/4 cup flax meal or an additional 1/4 cup of flour, each of these will give the muffins a different texture but all will work!)
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup Greek yogurt + 1/2 cup kefir (I used the combo of these two because that's what I had on hand; 1 cup sour cream, plain yogurt, or buttermilk would all do just fine)
• 1/4 cup light brown sugar (if you like things sweeter up the sugar to 1/3 or 1/2 cup)
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 very large or 3 regular apples, chopped
• 3/4 cup raisins

1. Heat oven to 375. Grease a standard 12 cup muffin tin and set aside.
2. Combing the flour and wheat bran in a large mixing bowl. I had two kinds of whole wheat flour on hand, one from the grocery store and one from the farmer's market.

2. Add the oatmeal, baking soda, baking powder, and salt and whisk to blend
3.  Using a food processor (or immersion blender if you still don't have a food processor *sigh*) pulse the dry ingredients together until the oats are processed into a flour. I left my oats a little chunky because I wanted some texture in there.


4. In a separate bowl, whisk together the dairy, egg, sugar, egg, and vanilla.
5. Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients, folding until just combined. Fold in the apples and raisins. (batter will be very chunky!)
6. Divide batter evenly among the muffin cups (batter will be rounded but that's ok because the apples cook down as the muffins rise.

7. Bake at 375 for 22 to 25 minutes, until nicely browned and crusty.

Have you ever actually watched things baking in the oven? It's so much fun to watch them rise before your eyes!

Enjoy! Preferably with a mug of tea.

Warm Butternut Squash and Rice Salad with Brussels Sprouts, Apples and Dijon Vinaigrette

I just Googled the name to make sure it is indeed "Brussels" as in the city and not "Brussel" sprouts. Conveniently, there is a www.brussels-sprouts.com, which informed me that "the modern Brussels sprout that we are familiar with was first cultivated in large quantities in Belgium." I like to know these things. Etymology aside, if you love Brussels sprouts like I do you will love them in this dish; if not feel free to leave them out, the butternut squash is the real heavy-lifter here.


I wasn't originally planning on putting this on the blog but it turned out so darn delicious I had to share it with you. I used instant brown rice which I think is truly one of the greatest inventions since sliced bread and just as convenient, making this doable for a weeknight dinner. In the background there is the dressing, a simple apple cider and Dijon vinaigrette which would be equally delicious brushed on grilled pork or grilled chicken.  You could also use cubed sweet potatoes if you don't want to fool with peeling the butternut squash.  I used a McIntosh apple because that's we had but I think this would work better with good ol' Granny Smith, which holds its shape when baked/roasted/grilled/sauteed much better than a McIntosh.  This would also be delicious with toasted walnuts and cranberries for Thanksgiving.  I told you I'm not really into recipes, right? It's your food-have fun with it!

Warm Butternut Squash and Rice Salad with Brussels Sprouts, Apples, and Dijon Vinaigrette

• 1 butternut squash, peeled and cubed
• 1 small apple, cubed
• 1 medium onion, diced
• 1 cup frozen Brussels sprouts
• Salt and pepper (about 1/2 and 1/4 of a teaspoon, respectively, if you like to measure!)
• 2 cups chicken broth, homemade if you have it and low sodium if you don't.
• 1 cup instant brown rice

For the Dijon Vinaigrette:

• 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• Dash of salt and dash of pepper

1. Heat 1-2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium heat until oil shimmers but does not smoke. Add onions and cook for 1-2 minutes, until just starting to turn translucent.  Add butternut squash, stir to combine, and cover the skillet.  Cook for 5-10 minutes, until the squash is just starting to get tender.  Life the cover, stir everything around, add the frozen Brussels sprouts, and cover again. Cook for an additional 5 minutes or so, until the Brussels sprouts are heated through and the squash is almost tender. You don't want to cook anything all the way through because this is a one-pot dish and you'll be cooking the pot right in the pan with the squash, so it will finish cooking along with the rice.
2. Add 2 cups chicken broth to the skillet and bring to a simmer. Add the 1 cup brown rice, cover, and simmer for 10 minutes, until broth is absorbed and rice is cooked through.
3. Meanwhile, prepare the vinaigrette: whisk together all ingredients in a small bowl or small measuring cup. Whisk well to emulsify.
4. As soon as the rice is done cooking, while it is still cooking, add half the vinaigrette and toss. Taste the dressing at this point: my husband prefers things rather plain (*cough*bland*cough*), so I only used half the dressing in the finished dish and added additional dressing at the table. If you can't have too much flavor, like me, you may want to add the other half of the dressing. If not save it in the fridge, it's a great all-purpose vinaigrette.

What about you? Are you a Brussels sprouts lover or hater?Any foods you love that people tend not to like? Brussels sprouts is definitely on my list there, along with Rye bread, sardines, whole-grain mustard, and I'll stop there because I just made myself a nice little sandwich :) What's on your list?

Grocery Shopping Eve Meal: Vegetable Rogan Josh

I wish I had a picture of the fridge in our house growing up to show you. My dad is a very structured man, Lord love him, and our fridge had a shelf for leftovers, a door on the fridge designated for jelly, a designated place for the eggs, lettuce, bacon, etc. to go and on and on. It was a wonderful system and one that virtually eliminates food waste; however, I have yet to meet another person or family that successfully employs a similar system. The rest of our relatively small galley kitchen in my parents' house is beautifully organized as well, even the ubiquitous Tupperware cabinet displaying Tupperware neatly stacked back to front from smallest to largest and no toppling to fear when you open the cabinet door. I'll have to take pictures when I go home for Thanksgiving.

I am firmly in the other 99% of society, however, which opens the fridge with one hand and thrusts a newly filled Tupperware on that second shelf on the left that seems a convenient landing place for everything.

Full disclosure: I just got up and took a picture of my fridge. Semi-organized--Pickles are a vegetable, right?

 I am also in that 99% of folks that find themselves with 3 stalks of celery and a quarter of a squash at the end of the week and I'll be darned if I'm going to throw away any food, at least not without giving a valiant effort. I view expiration dates as a trick of the food industry to trick us into throwing away our food and get more money out of us at the grocery store. Not really, but I do pay very little attention to expiration dates and instead tend to wait until there's mold somewhere to admit that any particular food item cannot, in fact, be eaten. Marriage has been good for me in that sense; my husband does not share my iron stomach and views expiration dates as fact, which has caused some bouts of secretiveness thus far. Vegetables, however, bear no expiration date, and that is how I arrived at my Saturday night dinner: Veggie Rogan Josh, or sauteed veggies with bottled Rogan Josh sauce stirred in for flavor. This is what happens when you are starving at 9 pm the day before you go grocery shopping.

I'm generally a bit of a whiz when it comes to making something out of nothing from the random bits of leftovers in the fridge. That night, though, I was merely determined to not let the bits of veggies I'd been accumulating rot in the fridge and I have a hard time thinking straight when I'm really hungry so I can pretty much forget being brilliantly creative.

This is the most appetizing picture I have of Saturday night's dinner, cooked at 9 pm with a glass of wine as an appetizer. That would be one leek, cleaned and chopped in the pan, half a cabbage, half a bag of (expired) shredded carrots, and one quarter of a red pepper. After a little more fishing in the fridge I pulled out a container whose top had an interesting bulge going on, indicating some carbon dioxide action or something going on in there. I really have no idea why I'm being so honest. I poured off the broth, which seemed to be where the fermentation was occuring, rinsed the chickpeas and tried one. It had a little bit of tang to it, just a hint, and I figured there must be some traditional dish out there in which fermented chickpeas play a role, so in they went.

The finished product was much greater than the sum of its parts and oddly satisfying, although they say hunger is the best condiment.

That would be a dollop of sweet chutney on top and a little tangy Greek yogurt hiding underneath. Sweet+Spicy+Tangy=Deliciousness. Side note: if you're interested in making this, that particular sauce I bought is quite spicy in a slow lovely after burn kind of way but I love it.  Word of warning to the spice averse.

The next day I was not quite as hungry and a little more creative so I seared some tofu in a cast iron skillet, cooked up some brown rice, and stirred all that together with the leftover vegetable mix and a little more sauce. Now that was delicious.

Now my morbid curiosity begs the question: do you organize your fridge or shove everything in there willy-nilly? What is your standby grocery shopping eve dinner?


Grocery Shopping Eve Vegetable Rogan Josh

• Lots of veggies, in my case: 1/2 a cabbage, coarsely chopped; 1 leek, trimmed and chopped, 1/2 bag of shredded carrots, 1/2 bell pepper. Potatoes or sweet potatoes would have been a welcome starchy complement in this mix (if you use potatoes I would parcook them in the microwave for a couple of minutes because they take so much longer to cook in the skillet than the rest of the vegetables).
• Indian Simmer Sauce: I used Spicy Tomato and Ginger or Kashmiri Rogan Josh, but any of the prepared Indian sauces would do nicely, especially with some rice.
• A protein: I added chickpeas because that's what I had but the next day it was delicious with some seared tofu. This mix would also go nicely with chicken or of course lamb, but if you have lamb in your Saturday night leftovers repertoire I'm jealous.

1. Heat 1-2 teaspoons of oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Saute your veggies (in the particular mix I used the cabbage takes the longest to cook so I put that in first and let it wilt a bit. If I had used onions those would have gone in first). I added mine to the skillet in the order listed.
2. Let your veggies cook to your desired doneness. I wanted my cabbage with a bit of chew since the rest of the dish was fairly insubstantial so I cut it in large chunks and let it cook until just tender.
3. Add your sauce and heat until heated through.
4. Serve over rice or with naan if you have it, or wine and your Hulu show of choice if you don't. 

Multigrain Chocolate Stout Banana Bread

Simplicity is not my strong point, at least when it comes to food. In life I am perfectly content to wear the same long waisted t-shirt and comfy flats high school through college, no problem. When it comes to my eating habits, however, I am infamous for 1) eating every meal out of a bowl 2) putting more ingredients than really necessary in said bowls. For instance, my morning oatmeal bowl often consists of oatmeal (3 parts steel cut to 1 part old-fashioned--try it, the texture is unlike any other) topped with sliced banana, nuts or peanut butter, yogurt, and granola. If you do 1/2 servings of each component you end up with one well-rounded bowl of lovely texture and temperature contrasts, the key to memorable dishes.

Which brings us to today's creation. It all started with a bottle of opened stout in the fridge. I opened it the other night for dessert and apparently misread my cravings because it was too heavy for me that late at night. I think I had a glass of wine instead. I'm all about freedom of choice. But back to the beer--flat, opened beer in the fridge screams "beer bread" to me. Did y'all make beer bread in college? We made a lot of it. Want to know why? Here's the recipe, pay attention now: measure 3 cups of self rising flour and 1/2 cup of sugar into a bowl (or directly into a greased baking pan, if you really want to go dorm-style). Stir in 1 12-ounce bottle or can of beer. Bake at 350 for 1 hour. Really, that's it. Sometime we would get creative and do garlic parmesan or cinnamon sugar toppings, but in general that's it. It has a texture like the middle of a good biscuits-and-gravy biscuit: dense and bready, perfect for slathering with butter and honey. Bringing back memories.

So today's beer bread started with that basic premise. The chocolate stout in the title refers not to "chocolate stout" as in Young's Double Chocolate or similar, but rather to chocolate, as in a fantastic high-fat natural cocoa powder I got from Penzey's this weekend, and stout, the beer on the same end of the spectrum as porters. Chocolate stout beer bread? I could tell this bread was headed somewhere delicious. There was also quite an old banana sitting in the fridge that I'd been meaning to mush up in a bowl of oatmeal for a few mornings now. I realize not everyone is a fan of the banana + chocolate combination, but I certainly am and a banana always adds some welcome moisture if you're a fan of the flavor. Oatmeal! That's a good idea too.  Then a hint of cinnamon for a welcome backbone of warmth and a star is born.

I truly wish you were here to share this with me. This honestly turned out so much better than I thought it would, the darkness of the stout and coffee brought out wonderfully by the cocoa and the cinnamon. It made for a deeply satisfying snack with a little fig-orange-ginger jam on top and a mug of coffee on the side. I told you simplicity is not my strong point. Oh and also? This loaf just happens to be vegan. Snuck that one in on you, huh? That's right, no eggs, milk, or butter to be found, just good ol' beer, coffee and chocolate. If you like barely sweet and highly flavorful baked goods, this loaf's for you. 

Multigrain Chocolate Stout Banana Bread

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.

1.  Measure out 1 cup any stout beer (such as Guinness) and 1/2 cup strong black coffee into a measuring cup.  Add 1/2 cup old-fashioned rolled oats and let stand at room temperature while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.

2. Measure 2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (you could certainly use all-purpose; whole wheat behaves much the same way most of the time, it would work fine in this recipe), 1/2 cup whole wheat flour, 1/3 cup natural cocoa, 1/4 cup cocoa, 1 tablespoon baking soda, 1 tsp. salt and 1 tsp. cinnamon into a medium mixing bowl and mix well with a fork or wire whisk to combine.

3. In a separate bowl, mash one ripe banana using a fork or pastry blender. Whisk in 3 tablespoons vegetable oil.

4. Add the measuring cup of beer + coffee + oatmeal to the banana and stir to combine. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir just to combine.

5. Pour your batter into the prepared loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-60 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the very center comes out with one or two moist crumbs attached. This is a very dense bread and so will not be actually wet and batter-like in the center. If you're baking in a metal baking dish, the bread will probably take closer to 45 minutes and if you are baking in a glass Pyrex dish or similar it will probably take closer to 60 minutes.

6. Turn out onto a wire rack to cool for at least 15 minutes (slicing into it hot will ultimately dry out the loaf!). Slather with your condiment of choice and enjoy with an afternoon cup of coffee. Or, of course, another beer.

Mediterranean Barley-Stuffed Peppers

I tried meal planning this week. In my house growing up there were about 10 different dinner options, including three different "casseroles" that start with a box of mac' and cheese. Every day about 5:00 pm, my dad or my mom or my sis, whomever happened to be home, would say "what do you want for dinner?" and on we went. My husband, however, grew up with the week's meal plan taped to the fridge, something I thought went out of fashion the same time as the "no white after labor day" rule. In the spirit of compromise, I tried it last week and it turns out I love it.

I had to get used to shopping with a list. When I shopped just for myself I would go shopping on Sunday afternoons when they make all the markdowns, buy whatever was on clearance, and that's what I'd eat for the week. Yes, I'm that crazy lady at the grocery store with a cart full of markdowns simultaneously trying to rifle through her coupons and steer her cart at the same time.  I also ate more meat last week than I have in the last month. I have that old American mindset that it doesn't look like a "real" meal without a hunk of meat on the plate. Weird, because on my own I rarely eat meat. Last night Jim was working late and my dinner was two pieces of toasted Italian bread with hummus and bruschetta and a glass of wine. So simple and so satisfying.

In that spirit, I've toned down our meat for the upcoming week in an effort to cut costs and get back to my veggie-loving roots. Here's a lovely recipe that reflects that, Mediterranean Barley-Stuffed Peppers. They would be delicious with some herbed goat cheese, good bread and a salad. Actually everything would be delicious with herbed goat cheese, good bread and a salad. But we're here to talk about the peppers.

Mediterranean Barley-Stuffed Peppers

 1. Wash two bell peppers (I used one green and one red) and cut in half through the stem from top to bottom. Empty out the seeds and ribs inside. I like to cut off one small slivery from the back of the pepper half so that it will lie flatly on my baking sheet.  Set these aside while you prepare the filling.

(That bowl on the left is some bread cubes for a panzanella salad to go with!)

2. Chop one onion and get that started sauteing in a skillet over medium heat. Cut two zucchini into medium chunks (they're the only thing with any texture in the finished dish). Add to the onion in the pan and stir everything around. I used a nonstick pan so I actually did not use any oil at all, but feel free to use a tablespoon of olive oil if you're not using nonstick. Add some salt (1/2 tsp) at this point for seasoning. I think it's important to season + taste at every level of a dish so the finished dish is well-balanced and well-seasoned. I also added a splash of red wine at this point, cuz that never hurts. It just adds a little depth of flavor. I would add a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar if you don't use the wine.

3. I usually have a big bowl of cooked whole grains in the fridge. This week it was barley. I get pearled barley from the story because it's so cheap! Once your onions are translucent add 1 1/2 cups of cooked barley. If you need to cook the barley from scratch, bring one can of reduced-sodium chicken broth (or 1 3/4 cups of water or homemade chicken broth if you'd prefer) to a simmer and add 1 1/4 cups of barley and simmer for 40 minutes, until the liquid is absorbed.

Yup. That's how I add the barley. What can I say? I like to cook with my hands.

4. I had half a jar of spaghetti sauce in the fridge, so I added that. If I hadn't had the spaghetti sauce in the fridge I would have opened up a can of tomato sauce (8 oz) and used that.

At this point, the mixture tasted much better than I expected, but I added about 1/2 tsp. each of dried basil and dried oregano for a little freshness.

5. Fill the peppers! I took a little spoon so I could pack as much filling as possible in there.

5. I baked these guys at 400 degrees for 35 minutes, until set, browned, and bubbly.

Let me know how yours turns out!

Rustic Bruleed Oatmeal with Caramelized Bananas

Life doesn't always go as planned, nor is it always perfect. I'm just a font of wisdom this morning, eh?  I mention it because the last week of my life has been absolutely perfect. I didn't have to worry about a thing the day of my wedding. I only pulled my bridal diva card once, when my sister and maid of honor couldn't find a Starbucks for my latte and so got me a Dunkin Donuts latte. Don't worry, the other bridesmaids pitched in and soon got me my grande soy latte. Funny, it makes me sound like a Starbucks person, which I'm not particularly. I'm priviliged to live in an area with an abundance of quality independent coffee shops but I wasn't about to send my bridesmaids 20 minutes to the next town over for a soy latte, although I considered it.

My wedding day was perfect.  It was followed by a week of this:

It's really hard to miss the lack of internet access at times like these. 

Suffice it to say that this week of perfection has served like a camera flash to obscure the other details of my life. As my eyes readjust to the light of normal life all the little things are slowly coming to light. For now, though, I'll relive one perfect morning with you.

Make this oatmeal the next time you're in a cabin with no internet access and an unobscured view of the mountains outside your bathroom window, for heaven's sake. Or make it for yourself and your loved ones in your pajamas as soon as the weather turns chilly.

Bruleed Steel Cut Oats with Caramelized Bananas

• 1 cup steel cut oats
• 3 cups water
• Pinch of salt
• 1 cup dairy (I used hazelnut half and half, which was delicious, and milk)
• Sugar for bruleeing (turbinado would have been ideal but I only had granulated. Use turbinado if you have it, the textures will be great.)
• 1 banana, cut into thick diagonal slices
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 tablespoon sugar

1. Preheat your oven broiler. Move your oven rack to the topmost position where your baking dish can still fit under the broiler element.
2. Bring the oats and water to a boil in a 3 quart saucepan. Turn the heat to low so that the oats are just barely simmering and simmer for 20-30 minutes, depending on how "al dente" you want your oats.  Start tasting after 20 minutes. Stir in the dairy and bring back to a simmer.
3. Transfer the oats to a cast iron pan or other oven-safe pan.  Broil for 8-10 minutes, checking often so that the sugar does not burn.
4. While the oatmeal is broiling, melt the butter and sugar together in a small (8 or 10 inch) skillet over medium heat.  Lay your banana slices in a flat layer in the skillet and do not disturb for 3-4 minutes so that they get a lovely golden brown color.  Flip the bananas and continue cooking.  
5. Serve your oatmeal with the bananas, some warmed milk or cream, and whatever fruit you have on hand.

Anti-Anxiety Whole Wheat Trail Mix Scones

I'm getting married on Saturday.  Hopefully that explains my post title a bit. I've been swept up lately in the fun of party planning and bridal showers and excitement. This particular morning, though, it all came crashing down on my pre-coffee brain: oh my goodness, I don't have a dress for the after party!  What will my parents do while I'm at my bachelorette party? Where will my sister's dog sleep?  Oh my gosh, I have totally lost my veil.  Oh, no, wait there it is. (This has, unfortunately, crossed my anxiety-ridden pre-wedding brain with practically every essential item of my wedding wardrobe.) And then, breakfast. I was hungry, one cup of coffee down, one real meal to go. Usually on a lazy Saturday or Sunday, the answer is simple: I make muffins.

Yet this Sunday, there I was, facing a bowl full of 2 cups of flour per recipe possibility #1 and Googling yet another permutation of "whole wheat muffin recipe" in the hopes that just one of them would yield muffins I could make from ingredients at my new house, where my fiance currently lives, without running back to my old house, where I currently live, at which point I may as well just go to the store. That's when it hit me: this is not fun today. I only cook when it's fun. My tummy is a demanding little thing in the mornings, though, and cereal and milk just won't cut it. Scones were the answer.

2 cups flour? Sure that'll work. Oatmeal for texture. Baking powder, no baking soda necessary (good thing, too, because the only box in the house is currently busy deodorizing the fridge and is therefore forbidden from having anything to do with my scones). Butter, 1 stick. Milk. I would have liked buttermilk but whatchagonnado. Trail mix because I didn't have raisins. Eggs. And you know what? 20 minutes later, there they were. My scones. Eaten somewhat ravenously slathered with butter and jam and black coffee for company's sake.  Barely sweet, wonderfully crunchy.

This time next week I will be married. My dress will be packed, my hair washed, my friends on their way home. And I will be married.

I think I need another scone.

Butter + jam? Always.

Anti-Anxiety Whole Wheat Trail Mix Scones

• 2 1/2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
• 1/2 cup old-fashioned oatmeal
• 1/3 cup white sugar
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup trail mix, a natural nuts-and-seeds variety, or any combination of dried fruits and nuts to total 1/2 cup.
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, unsalted, cold and cubed (keep this in the fridge until just before you make the scones)
• 1/2 cup dairy (I used lactose-free milk because that's what was in the fridge, but ideally I would have liked buttermilk, sour cream, or plain yogurt, in that order)
• 2 eggs, lightly beaten

1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.
2. Mix together the dry ingredients with a fork or whisk.
3. Cut your butter lengthwise into four long pieces, like a checkerboard cookie, then cut off the butter in "pats" so you have little butter cubes. Try not to handle the butter too much as you want it to melt as little as possible before scone meets oven.  
4. I cut my butter into the flour with my hands (this is part of the stress relief), but a fork or pastry blender works great here (I never could get the two knives thing down).
5. Make a little well in the middle of your dry ingredients and add the eggs and milk into the well.  Stir briskly with a fork until a soft dough forms. Try to stir up from the bottom of the bowl as you work so you can incorporate all the bits of flour from the bottom of the bowl.
6. Dump directly onto a cookie sheet or jelly roll pan (I used the Goldtouch nonstick sheet from Williams-Sonoma, which did a beautiful job of browning). Knead only enough to gather the dough together and pat into a round 8 inches around and 1 1/2 inches high. Score the dough into 8 wedges using a sharp chef's knife or bench scraper by cutting almost, but not quite, all the way through the dough.
7. Bake for 8 minutes.  Turn the oven off and leave the scones in the oven for another 10 minutes.